10 February 2011

My morning.

Time: 6 am
Scene: Mr. Man snoring.
           Still dark outside.
           Punk Pup still in kennel.
           I, however, am bug-eyed from the noises I just heard coming from the utility room.
Time: 6:15
Scene: Punk Pup stirs. I hear him. A different sounds from the ones I heard 15 minutes prior.
           I decide it's possible someone is in our house. How? Who knows.
           But those are weird bumping-around sounds.
           Mr. Man gets pinched.
           And doesn't stir.
           So he gets pinched again. And doesn't stir.
           And gets pinched again, and says "hu". I say "sh." He says "wha". I say SHH!
           He doesn't get the hint to whisper. Because by now I am sure there is someone in our house.
Mr. Man: "What Babe."
Me: Do you hear that?
M.M: What.
Me: Those sounds.
M.M: It's the dog.
[aside: Mr. Man assumes everything is the dog when he's half asleep. Any movement, any sounds, anything. 2 nights ago, I got into bed late. He's says: "Get down. Off. No."]
Me: It's not the dog.
[sound happens again]
Me: That!
M.M: It's the dog.
Me: No. It's not.
M.M: Do you want me to go get him?
Me: Yes. Be careful. Bring your phone. [like that'll hurt someone]
M.M: Good gracious.

He proceeds to get up, let the puppy out. As per everyday schedule, Punk Pup then proceeds to leap into bed & give me good morning kisses, waiting til I raise the covers so he can take over Mr. Man's spot (that goes over well on Saturdays...). Then he usually gives me a couple serious dutch ovens (if you don't know what that is, it's probably better) and takes his early-morning nap (to be proceeded by 7 more naps during the day & conveniently no evening naps...when everyone else is tired).

All that to not-so-concisely say, nothing was wrong.
Til Mr. Man went to brush his teeth. And turned the faucet. And nothing. Take 2: try hot water. Nothing.

M.M.: Babe we have no water.
Me: No what?
M.M: Water.
[I shot up in defense.]
Me: I printed off the receipt. I payed the bill early, just like always.
[I went to the computer to show him]
M.M: I have no doubt.
[I'm a little neurotic about paying bills early.]
M.M: I don't think it's that.

I get out of bed. Call the water people. They don't tell us what's wrong. But we're "in the system".
I get into bed. Cuddle with Pup. Take a 24 second snooze.
Door bell rings
I get out of bed, scrambling to clothe myself appropriately. Punk Pup is going zany. His jowls are flopping as he barks and runs and runs and barks.
I open the door. To the water men. Who look terrified of our sweet little puppy. Or maybe my outfit. Or my hair.
They fiddle around outside. And I hear my toilet flush, while I'm in my living room. Weird. They fiddle more. The toilet stops running. They fiddle more. Tell me to check. And miracle of all mircles, it's on!

The sounds: my water pipes messing up.
Moral: I am not loopy or paranoid.

Ok, tomorrow, really, you'll get documentation of my alleged snow day pretties. I envy your forgiveness.
But today, you can have the documentation of Punk Pup cleaning up after our morning moments of chaos

Love to play while I help!

who needs a dog dish.
this is how I roll 
take 1

take 2:
read: sometimes we mistake our lips for our food.


I was much obliged, Mom


  1. Oh goodness, I must admit.. I literally laughed out loud several times throughout the reading of this post. My neighbors, (if they can hear me), must think I'm crazy.

    Glad the water is up and running and that "Punk Pup" is as goofy as ever. :)

  2. So Brian and I are laughing soo hard right now! This was hilarious! I looove that Kev thought you were the dog "No, down, off." Hahahahaha. Miss you all!